Have a Cancer Friend? Expect Braised Pork on Moving Day

On the day Hannah moved, Kai had his car parked at the end of her lane first thing in the morning. In the trunk, along with boxes, tape, and a box cutter, was a pot of braised pork wrapped in a big towel. “You won't have time to cook today. Just heat it up tonight with some rice.” He tucked the pot into the fridge, which wasn't plugged in yet, thought about it, then took it out and set it on the counter.

Anyone with a Cancer friend has probably had a moment like this. They rarely say “we're best friends,” but when you look back, a lot of the times you felt cared for have their fingerprints on them.

They remember your family members' names

You mentioned once that your grandma was in the hospital, and the next week they asked, “Is your grandma home yet?” You said your little brother was taking university entrance exams, and on results day they texted to ask how he did. Cancers fold their friends' families into their circle of concern, as if your home were half theirs.

They also remember things you've forgotten yourself: you hate cilantro, your hands get cold in winter, you can't stand hearing a certain ex's name. Eat with them and you never have to say “no cilantro.” They'll say it for you.

One call at 1 a.m., and they're putting on a jacket

At 1 a.m. you type “ugh, I'm so done” on LINE, and five minutes later they're calling you. If they hear you crying, they'll ask where you are and ride over, maybe holding a bag of oden from the convenience store. They might not offer any big wisdom. Mostly they just sit beside you until you're done, then say, “Eat something first.”

This is when a Cancer is at their most reliable. Usually they overthink a little, but when a friend is in trouble, they get calm and handle things one at a time, like an older sibling.

Their kindness has an invisible circle

Cancer's symbol is the crab, and inside the shell and outside the shell are very different places. With people they don't know well, they're polite but guarded. Once you're inside the circle, it's a whole other level. As a water sign, they decide who's “their people” by feel, and once they've decided, they treat you like family.

They may have hundreds of contacts on LINE, but only two or three people who'd get a call from them at midnight or know what's going on at their house. Making that short list means they already see you as family.

Because they give so much, they're very sensitive to a friend going cold. Turn down their plans three times and they won't complain. They just won't ask a fourth time. They'll tell themselves “they probably have their own life,” and quietly pull their heart back a little.

Being their friend means sending a little warmth back

A Cancer doesn't need you to match what they give, but they do need to know it landed. When you finish that braised pork, send them a photo of the empty pot. On their birthday, don't just leave a Facebook comment; call them or take them to dinner. Small things like that mean more to them than an expensive gift.

If you're truly swamped lately, just say, “I'm buried right now, but I haven't forgotten you” and they'll feel so much better. They're never afraid of you being busy. They're afraid of you being so busy you forget them.

Whenever Byeol Bunny shares vegetable soup with his neighbor, the neighbor washes the pot and brings it back with a handful of fresh mint inside. Byeol Bunny says lifting the lid is honestly his favorite part. Next time your Cancer friend drops something off, try putting a little something in the pot when you return it.