Going Along With Everything a Leo Wants Still Isn't Enough

On the subway home one Sunday night, Hannah was texting a friend: “This month he wanted barbecue, so we had barbecue. He wanted a beach trip, so I took time off. And he still says I don't seem to care.” Her friend asked what she'd said when he got promoted to team lead. Hannah paused. “I texted congrats. With a sticker.”

That's usually where things get stuck. Going along with a Leo matters, but there's something he cares about more.

He wants to be noticed, and agreement comes second

Leo is ruled by the Sun, and the Sun needs someone looking up at it. In relationship terms: he needs to know you're watching. If you let him decide everything, he's happy at first. Over time, he starts to wonder whether you actually like it or just can't be bothered to argue.

On the flip side, if you sometimes insist on the ramen place you want and mention over dinner, “You looked really cool fixing my laptop last time,” he feels loved in a solid way. Going along makes things easy for him. Recognition makes him feel safe.

Praise needs details, because he can tell when it's lazy

Leos are sensitive to compliments, sensitive enough to hear whether you meant it. “You're great” goes numb after the tenth time. He wants you to notice where he put in effort. If he booked a restaurant with a two-month waitlist for your birthday, he wants to hear, “How did you even get this? My coworker said it's impossible.”

One Leo guy said his girlfriend once told his friends, “His curry is better than any restaurant's.” After that he cooked every weekend, and even diced the onions extra neatly. Once a Leo is praised for something specific, he keeps trying to do it better.

The admiration thing is really about being your hero

Some people find Leo's need for admiration exhausting. Look at it another way: he wants to be the first person you think of when something goes wrong. If your boss gives you a hard time and you call to vent, he'll come up with three ways to respond and add, “If he does it again tomorrow, tell me.” A simple “I'm so glad I have you” then does more than any gift.

He'll charge ahead for you as long as he believes you need him. So hand him a problem now and then and let him help. To a Leo, a partner who always says “It's fine, I'll handle it” can feel a little distant.

Say thank you out loud, and say your limits out loud too

You don't have to worship him daily. Just build one habit: when he does something for you, say so that day, ideally in person or somewhere his friends can see, like a story that says “Thanks to someone for hauling a whole box of books.” And when there's something you don't want to go along with, say that too. He may sulk for a bit, but he'll come around, because deep down he respects people with their own opinions.

If you're worn out, you can also tell him, “I need you to praise me too.” Leos are generous; they just get so used to center stage that they forget to look at the audience. Remind him once, and he'll make up for it seriously, maybe a little too seriously.

Byeol Bunny once helped a friend move and was completely wiped out. One friend said “Thanks for your hard work,” and it didn't really land. But he still remembers another friend saying, “The boxes you taped held all the way to the new place.” One well-aimed sentence can get a bunny to carry ten boxes of books, and get a Leo to try harder for you for another year.