Relationships

Who Texts First After a Fight: The Last Week of Mercury Retrograde (Nov 7–13) and How Each Element Makes Up

Byeol Bunny Astrology Editorial Team5 min read↻

The hardest part of a fight is often who sends the first message. For the last week of Mercury retrograde (Nov 7–13), here is what helps fire, earth, air and water signs make up.

It is 11 p.m. on a Wednesday. You stare at the chat, where the last message, sent three hours ago, says “Whatever.” Your thumb hovers over the box, types “hey,” then deletes it. After a fight, the hardest part is often deciding who sends the first message.

Nov 7–13 is the last week of this Mercury retrograde, when misread texts and mixed-up plans happen more often than usual. Leave a small misunderstanding alone and it can turn into a cold war. Biotu sorted the four elements into groups and focused on one thing only: how to make up. If you are at odds with a friend, family member or coworker, the same moves work.

Fire: Ready to talk an hour later, hates being left hanging

Aries, Leo and Sagittarius get angry fast and cool down fast. The night of the fight, they are often pacing the room, wondering whether to just call. Silence is the hardest thing for fire signs. The longer you stay quiet, the bigger the problem feels to them.

Within the group, Aries wants speed, Leo wants a way to save face, and Sagittarius wants to get back to the usual easy chatting.

If you are in a relationship, send something that same day like “I’m still upset, but I don’t want to drag this into tomorrow.” It works far better than pretending nothing happened, and fire signs usually reply quickly to that kind of honesty. If you are dating someone new or single and had a falling-out with a fire-sign friend, suggest a specific plan, like “Let’s grab fried chicken after work tomorrow and talk.” They will feel taken seriously.

Earth: Two quiet days, then your favorite snack shows up

Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn go quiet after a fight. They need time to think it through, and until they do, they worry that saying more will mean saying the wrong thing. Earth signs rarely make up with words. More often, your mug is washed the next morning, or there is a pudding you like in the fridge.

Taurus needs the most time, Virgo replays the whole thing in their head, and Capricorn wants to fix whatever can be fixed first.

If you are in a relationship, text “I’ll wait until you’re ready. Dinner this weekend?” It gives them a time frame and space at once. When they make up through actions, say “I noticed,” so they know it landed. If you are dating someone new or single and things got tense with an earth-sign coworker or relative, help them with one small task, like sending over the files they need. That breaks the ice better than a long explanation.

Air: Needs to talk it through, then things go back to normal

Gemini, Libra and Aquarius care about whether the conversation actually got through. The night of the fight, they may already have points one, two and three lined up in their head. Air signs rarely hold grudges. As long as the talk feels equal, they can move on once it is said.

Gemini wants to clear it up quickly, Libra cares whether both sides got a fair say, and Aquarius needs you to hear out their reasoning without cutting in.

If you are in a relationship, start with “I want to hear the part you didn’t finish,” let them say it all, then share your side. Texts get misread easily in the last week of Mercury retrograde, so say the most important line on a call. If you are dating someone new or single and argued with an air-sign friend, open with something light, like a post you both find funny, then add “Let’s talk properly about earlier another day.” They usually pick it up.

Water: Feelings first, then right and wrong

Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces have far more going on inside than they say out loud after a fight. They might say “It’s fine,” then spend the whole night replaying the tone of that one sentence. The key with water signs is to deal with the feelings first and the issue second.

Cancer needs to know you still care, Scorpio needs you to be honest, and Pisces needs a gentle reply before they can say what really hurt.

If you are in a relationship, text “I was too sharp earlier. That must have felt awful.” Start with how they felt, then get to who was right. If you are dating someone new or single and fell out with a water-sign friend or relative, drop off something small, like their usual drink with a short note. It lowers their guard better than explaining again and again by text.

Making up across elements

Fire and earth: Set a time, then meet

Fire wants to talk now, earth wants to talk later. The middle ground is to agree that night on “Let’s talk tomorrow at 8.” Fire gets a clear answer, and earth gets time to sort things out.

Fire and water: Mind the feelings, slow down

Fire signs speak bluntly, and water signs get stung by tone. When making up, open with one line that shows you care about their feelings, then talk about the issue. For more on this pair, see the fire and water article in the further reading below.

Earth and air: Write the conclusion down

Air feels it is solved once it is said, while earth needs to see follow-through. After you talk, send what you agreed on as a message, like “From now on, text if you’ll be home late.” Both of you have something to go back to.

Air and water: Listen first, analyze later

Air signs like to reason things out, while water signs need to feel understood first. Swap “You’re overthinking it” for “I get why you’re upset,” and water signs will keep talking.

Same element: Take turns going first

Two fire signs tend to get louder, and two earth signs can both go silent for days. When you share an element, agree that one of you reaches out first this time and the other does next time, so nobody has to guess who texts first.

Do these 3 things after a fight

  • Send one line without blame: something like “I want to talk this through properly,” and skip the old grievances in the first message.
  • Say the important things out loud: texts are easier to misread in the last week of Mercury retrograde, so a call or a face-to-face talk keeps things on track.
  • Check in once after making up: the next day, ask “Are you okay after how we talked yesterday?” so it is really behind you.

The person who texts first after a fight is usually just the one who wanted to get back to talking sooner. If that message box is still empty tonight, “Hey, can we talk?” is enough.

Further reading